Stumbling and Tumbling
I stumbled this morning. I was instantly horrified but my conscience had no time to respond and protect me from tumbling.
Sitting at a traffic light I awaited the changing of the guard-- red to green --and the resumption of my drive to work.
The light finally turns green-- I have to turn left and so I sit...
and sit...
and sit... waiting for the [very nice person] to move-- this [very nice person] had the right of way.
She waited 10 seconds to even begin moving, but before those ten seconds were more that half expended filth poured out of my mouth. I used the LORD's name "impatiently" --as a cuss-word, and then proceeded to cuss the woman. I was horrified. Shamed. And for a time I felt the weight of my guilt.
For a time... I got to work and the feelings subsided. I forgot, for the moment, what I had done.
I know that He is displeased. I know that He is angered. I know. And yet He wants me to confess and repent. He wants me to apologize. And I will.
Something else I know, harking back to that imperceptible curve of the earth, too long out of fellowship destroys one's sensitivity to all things holy. The longer I stay on my feet (as opposed to on my knees) the easier it is for me (for anyone) to stumble and fall, and that's putting it mildly.
The point is, depending on how long one has resided in Sodom prior to fleeing, the harder it is (perhaps) to set aside all that wickedness. And what IS wickedness? Anything that holds your focus away from the LORD and HIS standard... holiness.
He is coming soon. I have to be ready. So do you. For every idle word, we WILL be judged.
Sitting at a traffic light I awaited the changing of the guard-- red to green --and the resumption of my drive to work.
The light finally turns green-- I have to turn left and so I sit...
and sit...
and sit... waiting for the [very nice person] to move-- this [very nice person] had the right of way.
She waited 10 seconds to even begin moving, but before those ten seconds were more that half expended filth poured out of my mouth. I used the LORD's name "impatiently" --as a cuss-word, and then proceeded to cuss the woman. I was horrified. Shamed. And for a time I felt the weight of my guilt.
For a time... I got to work and the feelings subsided. I forgot, for the moment, what I had done.
I know that He is displeased. I know that He is angered. I know. And yet He wants me to confess and repent. He wants me to apologize. And I will.
Something else I know, harking back to that imperceptible curve of the earth, too long out of fellowship destroys one's sensitivity to all things holy. The longer I stay on my feet (as opposed to on my knees) the easier it is for me (for anyone) to stumble and fall, and that's putting it mildly.
The point is, depending on how long one has resided in Sodom prior to fleeing, the harder it is (perhaps) to set aside all that wickedness. And what IS wickedness? Anything that holds your focus away from the LORD and HIS standard... holiness.
He is coming soon. I have to be ready. So do you. For every idle word, we WILL be judged.
Comments
I do understand, Eric.
Sometime back, one of my grown sons stirred my anger in such a way that I lost my temper and cursed at him.
His mouth hung open for a good twenty seconds.
He curses infrequently. Those of his generation (20-30) curse flippantly and commonly. His shock was that the word came out of my mouth.
My response was to do something I rarely do. I wept. Not just a few tears. I mean I wept. Then I asked his forgiveness, which he readily gave and then I asked God's forgiveness (which He readily gave). The hardest part was forgiving myself.
You can't live in the world and not get dirt on you, Eric. That's why it had to be the cross, and not our own abilities.
I understand.
As old as I am, I have found myself in similar situations as you and Ms. Green. I have found the forgiveness of my Savior so sweet and humbling. I feel a need immediately to ask His forgiveness, but I find forgiving myself sometimes takes quite some time, until I realize that it is a lack of faith on my part to not accept His forgiveness and get back up with a new determination to fight that spirit that I was overtaken by (not good to end sentence with by).
The grace of God is so sweet! You are my Brother in Christ! mom2